You are cordially invited to Dantown Abbey. Accompany Mr Slorance as he takes a most leisurely turn with hosts Dan, The Smartest Guy In The World, and Hannah, Most Offensive Fimo-Wearer. It may please you hear Dan’s accurate impression of Stan Lee and to learn more of the humble tortoise and their husbandry, but have a care dear visitor: as one particular tale of chelonian whimsy may make you sick in your mouth a bit.
Neil Slorance, as well as being a top guy, also does top comics. You can see some of his work here on his website (including the hourly comic he talks about) and also buy it. And you should, because you seem to me like a person of taste.